~dead2me

I went to Reid State Park today, and chilled for a few hours... and I put sun block on several times and I still got a HORRIBLE burn.... EVERY WHERE.

Ouch.
Ouch.
Ouch.

I don't want to work tomorrow, I want to hang out in ice cubes.

Well I played in my first Texas Hold'em tournament yesterday... and I lost

I didn't suck though.. I made it to like the 15th person and then I was out... we had I think 28 people play.

I was kinda disappointed, but I'm over it.

I'm in a "slump". I kind of feel trapped, like a gerbil in a cage wanting to sleep in the day and play all night, and no matter what you do you're fucked.

My days don't seem to change much, and my life is going no where. I want to do so much and I don't have the means and the materials to do it. I'm sick of hearing how lucky I am, I'm really not lucky. I might make a lot of money and have a lot of things, but I would give all that away to live carelessly without a job and restraints, live life the fullest every day. I want to travel, and learn, and see things that will take my breath away. But I seemed to have signed my life away to a corporate world, and if I bail now I'll be fucked.

What do you do when there's nothing you can do to make yourself happy? I have a great boyfriend, but I can't depend on him to be my happiness. I have a good paying job, but no amount of money and things will fill my void.

Honestly I want to be a kid again carefree. Thinking about this country, and my future is depressing. did you know that if you don't have a 401k, or IRA, or some sort of savings for your retirement you're going to be left to die because the government can't help you, your family won't be able to help you, and my generation won't be able to retire until we're a little over 70. I don't think God intended for us to be slaves. You know that's all we are, right? Slaves to the man.

When Bush took over office, gas was $1.46, now it's $3.95, some areas are over $4.00. What really makes me sick are the people who would vote for him all over again. Our society is seriously fucked. Our economy is seriously fucked. Our futures are seriously fucked. We may not have a hand to hand combat war on our front law, but we are at war with ourselves. We're too opinionated, we're too complex, we're too weak, we're too needy, we're way too pathetic. Everyone wants something for nothing, no one wants to work hard anymore, no one wants to go to college, and nowadays kids shoot for pro sports, and art designers, instead of joining the work force. Fast food has gotten ridiculous, MSG hasn't gotten ridiculous, there are way too many health problems and obese people. There are more fast food restaurants in my little city than health food grocery stores in my entire state. You know what's sad? A 6 pack of little Debbie's are $1.29, one apple $.69 - That's why America is fat, that's why we're pathetic, that's why we're all doomed. We're too lazy and stupid to put the extra effort into correcting our problems, instead we'd rather sit on our ass and cover up our problems.

Bottom line, the United States of America is fucked... Thank you President Bush, you'll be one of the most remembered Presidents because you were the one to Ruin USA.

I have a story to tell
and I'm sick of no one listening.